Feeling Violated

Sunday, Feb. 01, 2004
5:47 PM

I have to vent. Really. Must. Vent.

Some of you may know about this website, amiperiodornot.com. It is a site where people can upload pictures of themselves in their garb, or even armor, and ask for votes and commentary on their stuff. This means that any yutz with a computer can comment, whether they know anything about garb or not. I have surfed through the site before - there is some really awesome clothing on there. Some... not so much. Some of the commentary is nice, polite and helpful. Some... not so much. OK, some of it is not only unhelpful and uneducated, but some comments are downright cruel. I saw a picture of a lady I know in a very fancy Tudor outfit that she sewed by hand. One comment focused on nothing but her weight, in a horrible and demeaning way. Unbelievable! It made me furious on her behalf. Another comment on a different picture complained that the lady's lacing cord on her dress was too thick. Too freakin' thick!! I'd like to ask if this person has bullet-proof documentation on the width of every single lacing cord in the fourteenth century. Somehow I doubt it.

What's my point, you ask? Well, it seems that someone uploaded a picture of me without my knowledge or permission. I'm so angry I can barely see straight. I've sent the owner of the site an email requesting that she remove it. (And thanks go to Educaitlin, who alerted me to the fact that it was there in the first place.) I can't believe that someone would steal a graphic from my website and post it without bothering to so much as ask me if they could post it. I would have asked them not to, but that's not the point. What was this person trying to gain from this? To help me garner useful information to improve the outfit? Well, for one thing, how am I supposed to do that if I don't know it's there? (Also beside the point, as I wouldn't have put it up myself.)

Secondly, I know what's wrong with the outfit. I don't need someone to tell me that the bodice is too long, or that my caul was sliding off the back of my head in the picture. I know that. I am my own worst critic and I know every mistake that I made on that outfit. I don't need anonymous commenters to point them all out to me. If I wanted that, I'd have uploaded the damn picture myself! Really, if I wanted feedback on my work, I would go to someone I trusted, who knows me and knows what I do.

So is there someone out there getting their jollies by watching my work get torn apart by random people? I can't imagine why anyone would want to do that. When I first heard about this, I wasn't sure whether I should be flattered - maybe this person thought that my picture would get lots of compliments or something like that... but I can't see it that way. I'm really upset - and creeped out. I know none of my close friends would do this without asking me, and it really bothers me to think that someone I don't know that well would take this kind of liberty.

Maybe I am making too big a deal out of this. Most of the comments made weren't rude, though many were negative. Some were actually very nice. But it isn't the criticism that hurts me. It's the fact that this was done completely behind my back, that I had no control over the description of my work, and that the site owner does not verify whether the work being submitted is done so with permission. I didn't like the site to begin with, now I absolutely hate it.

I doubt I will ever find out who submitted my picture. I would hope that whoever it is would be big enough to come to me and apologize. Really, though, all I expect is for the picture to be taken down and I will move on.

OK. Rant over.